Bad Beats in Poker and Life
Poker is a great metaphor for life. There’s a ton of ups and downs, a mixture of luck, and skill, and of course there’s a hell of a lot out of your control. I’ve selected the video below to give you an idea of what a “bad beat” is, and give an indication of how I feel right about now.
Bad beats are just a part of life.
Bad Beat: Playing your cards right, reading the situation right, having the cards in your favor, and at the last minute having the world change with a flip of the last card. Its the appearance of winning when an important piece of missing information would tell you, that you were losing.
Lets set the stage: I’m a successful Product Manager working part time at a respected company. Due to some forces in my life the overwhelming need has become going full-time. This led me to ask my manager for expanding my role within my group. After a discussion this was deemed impossible and I was invited to seek employment elsewhere within the company (a great proposition). However, a few weeks later my manager indicated the need to utilize the position I currently hold for a new candidate (as he was under the impression I’d have no problems seeking out other opportunities within the company). Finding the right position has been somewhat elusive, but I found one major opportunity.
The Opportunity: Work with a group that I have a strong track record with, have 4 people recommending me for, and whom I’ve had the opportunity to have an informal interview with. My manager’s put in a good word to these people as well, and they mentioned they would be starting their interview process in a few short weeks.
Fast forward to today:
9am: Manager wishes to speak with me. Typical good news/bad news conversation.
- Bad news: They’ve put an offer out to the candidate who will take my space
- Good news: He just spoke with the group behind the opportunity and they’re going to be interviewing me
He tells me I better nail the interview because I’m now on the clock.
9:10am: I’m in an operational meeting that is mission critical. I see an email come in from the gentleman who has the opportunity. Given the conversation with my manager, I just can’t resist seeing when my interview is.
9:11am: Yep that bad beat feeling just crept in. They’ve decided to go with another candidate without even giving me an opportunity to interview. The only position that was aligned with where I’m at, the one with all my network trained on this one target, the one I am within spitting distance with given a solid track-record of working with the group.
9:15am: I fire off an email to my manager letting him know of the unfortunate turn of events.
9:30am: I get back an email that my manager needs me to execute on my deliverables while I’m out looking for my next opportunity.
The sad thing is I knew immediately this was a bad beat. I’m analytical enough to know immediately this has nothing to do with my value, what my offer is, or anything I had any control over BUT DAMN IT SUCKS. Now I’m on the clock and I felt pretty bummed when my manager didn’t identify with how I must feel given such a terrible outcome.
How does one deal with a bad beat and keep going?
- Understand that you played your cards right.
- Accept its beyond your control.
- Prove to the world the outcome was wrong, not you.
Unfortunately while these are great steps we’re all still human. So its going to take a little time for me to work through the 3 steps, but hopefully reading this post will get you thinking about your own bad beats in life.
Additionally if you’re ever in the position of having to deal with an employee who is experiencing a bad beat think about the impact it must have on them and comfort them.
The initial impression is that you are whining. Everybody has a bad day, and life in general sucks. Get over it.
Why didn’t the manager recognize the value? Maybe you are not marketing yourself correct, or perhaps he really wants someone else in that position. Have you considered the possibility that you are a threat to him? This is common with managers who are incompetent. If you get a superstar under you, then you could get concerned that they will outshine (and eventually overtake) you.
Let’s discuss the HR practices of a certain large company. They hire contractors because they are expendable. Yes, they may promise big things, but often they fail to deliver. Then after giving your life to them, they throw you out like the garbage and hire someone else at a lower wage.
Companies have lost their soul. In many cases, it is only about the bottom line and not about the needs of society. Organizations have become poor stewards of their resources, and as a result, we continue to fall behind the rest of the world. When you describe the bad beat, you are only looking at one of the symptoms. The real problem is NOT you; it is the organizational culture that supports this type of behavior. Perhaps the real solution is to fire all the managers and start rebuilding from the bottom up.
Then again, I’m going to call the manager in question an asshole because you probably would not.
Love the pseudonym…. Dick
I love the radical outside the box thinking, and that in itself may be a terrific blog post in its own right. This post was more focused on how to deal with disappointment, and the emotional impact it causes.
That being said I was concerned with how little I saw my feelings being taken into account (which some people would call naivety). I’m a relationship person though, and sometimes analytical managers fail to surmise the difficulties and adjustments that need to be made when dealing with someone who focuses on relationships over concrete calculations. This was brought up not as an excuse for my being upset, but because it helps managers understand the pitfalls in communication with some employees.
Back to thoughts on emotional impacts and dealing with disappointments. It’s my belief the attitude of life sux get over it, is not a helpful way to address a situation and provide substantial learning to others. I understood what happened and was able to rationalize it based on previous experience of seeing it (Poker) and felt that view may give people the power to deal with similar situations in their own lives.
Yes, I would put it as a separate post; however, I can’t seem to be able to figure out how to do that. You may have identified a problem with “free” software… no technical support or documentation when you get stuck.
Can’t say that I entirely went through the same thing, but the similarities to my own experience are there.
One gets excited when you hear that others are vouching for you to fill a position, but in the end they don’t. As Richard has commented, the “problem is not you; it is the organizational culture that supports this type of behavior”
I suppose the positive thing is that you had many vouching for you. In my case, I had one who said that the only way to earn this position was through their referral that later got revoked for one reason or another. Perhaps it was cause I was “too hood” or too “new school” to their “old school” ways? Maybe I was simply a threat and a superstar?
Too many times in a corporate setting, there’s always someone block blockin.
“Have you considered the possibility that you are a threat to him? This is common with managers who are incompetent. If you get a superstar under you, then you could get concerned that they will outshine (and eventually overtake) you.”
I’ve found solace that certainly what Richard expressed above is what has happened to me. However, no need to ponder, on to the next new opportunity. See you at the top!
While the threat angle is a possibility, I often find that to be a self effacing path to go down. Just my two cents not sure about how it plays out in your situation. In your case though like you said just move on to a different opportunity and nail that one.
In this case I’m firmly believing its either a failure to see value/communicate value within the current role, or the fact that the other position completely trumps the importance of my own (which I definately know is the case).
As for the see value/communicate value. There are many views on how to “get after it” and if my style is conflicting I have to ask myself should I change it, or should I change venues.
At the end of the day I answered by focusing on the venues.